The Journal of an Ordinary Man

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A Frank Letter | I Never Told You

Dear you,

I never told you this, but frankly, how could I?

I liked you from the moment I first laid my eyes on you. You were wearing a tight black blouse, dark skinny jeans, and white sneakers. Half an hour later, we found ourselves in a room with eight other people. The eldest, being our teacher, introduced herself and instructed others to follow suit. Your turn came; you smiled and tucked your hair behind your ear and spoke. I never told you this, but really, I was captivated.

Months passed, and as they did, our sitting arrangements changed so that now we were next to each other as we spent the day working on our studies. I passed notes to the other guy next to you through your office just so I could somehow catch your attention. I pretended to be so engaged in writing on our workbooks that I didn’t notice my forearm’s on the bounds of our offices’ dividers, just so I could feel your soft skin. I joined our classmates in teasing you with this other guy, so I could smile and talk to you.

Two years passed, and now we were no longer in the same class. We weren’t even in the same school. One random day I get a text from our former teacher. It was invitation to a concert which she wanted our gang to see. Concert day came, and there you were again, beautiful as ever. I’m captivated once again.

Three years passed, and now we’re in the same school again. I never told you I treasured every moment we were together. I remember going to the school canteen and finding you there. I smiled, and you smiled back. That was the beginning of a (short) series of us meeting and spending time together.

On my way home on afternoon, we bumped to each other in the street. You wore a black cap, a tight black shirt, faded and tattered jeans, and sneakers. Your face radiated beauty I could never resist. Your brown eyes imprison mine. Your lips entice me to kiss you. I thought you looked like Andy from Step Up 2: The Streets. I told you that, and you liked it.

I found myself in love with you. We spent time together often. We had hot noodles for lunch in an equally hot day. We drank brain-freezing shakes. We had long talks, mostly about random things.

Then the news came. You were gonna leave. You were gonna be in a far place to study. On our last chance to be together before you left, we went to the mall. I remember lining up to get fruit shakes while you lined up for popcorn. I got two medium sized pineapple shakes for you and me. You got popcorn..a big bucket of it. We went to the movies and found seats on the back, left side of the cinema. It was a good spot.

I didn’t know what to feel. I wanted to smile because we were together. I wanted to cry because you were leaving. I lay my head on your shoulder, and you patted my arm. That, to me, was so sweet. I mustered enough courage to kiss you, and for a moment, I did. Your lips were so soft. It must have been the popcorn or the shake, but your lips were oh so sweet. I flung my left arm around you and drew you closer. I felt your head on my shoulder, and for a moment, I just wished the time would stop. A kiss to my cheeks soon followed, but that was the last of it.

I tried to make it work for us, even though we were not together. I sent you text messages many times throughout the day, even though I knew your phone was in the custody of some school authority. I sent you messages on your Facebook and told you how my day went. Sadly, after several months, our communication was severed.

I never told you I had your picture as my desktop’s wallpaper, but how could I? I never told you how hurt I have been because of missing you so much, but how could I? I never got to tell you why I loved you, but how could I? You never texted me back. You never replied to my messages on Facebook. You were gone.

You know what the most painful thing you could ever have said to me is?
It was something like, “…frankly, never I thought you were serious about it…”

[ This was written as response to a Yeah Write! prompt. ]

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